Last night was rough, but not as rough as I imagined it should be. I was surprised that I actually went to sleep shortly after my son tried to get in the house at 11. But I did and I’m not sure what that says about me. Earlier yesterday, it looked like he was headed for the shelter but at the last minute he found another friend to take him in. I think he may run out of friends who can put him up soon, and then his life will get more challenging, but I’ve been wrong before.
I observed all this dry eyed, and somewhat logically. I’m very surprised at my ability to sit in the dark on my bed listening while my son tried to get in. He didn’t try for long, something that seems very sad, but still, I could just sit and wait.
What this says about me I really don’t want to examine to closely, but this morning when I was buying my coffee I also paid for the person’s behind me. I wanted to do something kind, something that would hopefully make someone smile, and as I drove away from the drive through I burst into tears. Not lodgical at all, but maybe somewhat reaffirming.