I’m in that hamster wheel section of my brain where the thoughts spin faster and faster and get crazier and crazier. Not fun.
This is what’s spinning around:
- I need to move on from where I am now – career, relationship, life…
- I should get divorced. I WANT to get divorced. I can’t afford to get divorced.
- I need to get a job that pays me enough to live on, has benefits, and sick days. (divorce = no health care)
- I was trained as a nurse in Canada, but have to back to school to do that here.
- I need to go back to school – see 4.
- I need money to go back to school – see 1,2 & 4.
- I have a daughter in University.
- She needs money to go to school.
- I need to borrow money – see 5 & 7.
- I already owe money – see 5,6,7, & 8.
- Going back to nursing would let me live on my own – see 2.
- I need health care – see 2 & 3.
- My son is making life very hard, mine and his own.
- I can create. I can write, I can’t get organized, display or sell my work.
- My office is an unorganized disaster that keeps me from getting anything constructive done.
- I’m tired. see all of the above.
- I need to get organized – see all of the above.
- I have no idea where to start or what to do next – ditto.
- I feel badly that everyone seems to handle their lives better than I do.
- Other people have been divorced and remarried since I got separated.
- Other people have kids in university and do not turn themselves inside out trying to pay for it and organize it.
- Other people are in school themselves and have managed to pay for it, and organize themselves.
- Some other people are in school and have kids in school.
- Other people get organized and display and sell their art/writing/photography.
- Thinking about other people doing everything better is making me nuts.
- I need to see a neurologist.
- My son ate up almost all of our new and unimpressive health insurance – see 13.
- I want to take yoga teacher training, it will cost money – see 1, 5 & 10.
- I don’t know if it’s just stress making my head hurt – see 13, 16, 25 & 26.
- I don’t like getting head aches because they have already caused permanent brain damage and I’d like to keep what marbles I have left – see 26.
- I don’t think I have enough marbles left to go back to school – see 1,3,4,5,6……
Right. Well there you have it. Take all of those, spin them faster and faster and that would be my brain right now. No wonder I have a headache.
thanks LB, need any woo woo creative mumbo jumbo? I’m here for you! In the meantime, if I offered pie would you come hold a whip over me while I cleaned out my office?? 🙂
I’m here to listen, babe. And if it helps any, I haven’t got it together, either. My fabulous fashion sense (NOT) may mask it, but I definitely don’t have it together. I don’t think any of us really do. Some are just more committed to hiding it than others.
Lots of love to you!
~Your Left Brain